Well it’s that time of year when things start to slow down and the uncomfortable reality of unwanted time spent with family comes knocking. But if you have decided to go away for the festive holidays, here’s something to think about, weather you are going with friends, partners or by yourself you can spice up you holiday and really make it something to remember.
They have many names: adult, sex or singles' holidays. Unlike what we believe, the excitement doesn't come because of sex per se, but because of the sense of adventure and moral taboo that comes tagged with it.
A sex holiday is not just about hooking up with local girls, and is definitely not about paying to do 'it'. In fact, prostitution is a waste of a holiday as it can often be indulged in at home and may be even more unsafe in unknown parts of the world. A singles' vacation, instead, is about meeting interesting women or generally having fun with singles. (Of course, if it does come with a couple of one-night-stands, who's complaining, right?)
What to expect.
Everyone who sets out on a holiday of this kind has his reasons-an ex-girlfriend, a divorce or simply the want of a kinky adventure. Whatever your case, list down what it is you are looking for. Then tear off that list, and wipe all expectations off your mind. It helps to not covet anything, as a sex holiday is not a defined idea. "Adult tourism is a subtle part of the travel industry that is quite popular," says Jehan Driver, a young travel enthusiast and consultant who has a decade of experience in travelling and now organizes his own adventure trips.
"During my two-year adventure study in New Zealand, we conducted a group study which showed that nearly 60 per cent of backpackers have some kinky expectations out of their holidays," he says. "In New Zealand, there are tourism operators who offer bus tours around the country, which, even though not advertised as hedonistic, are seen to be so by the travelers on these tours," he adds.
Though some online tour operators do sell packages labeled 'Sex Holiday' in huge, bright, glittering fonts, the definition varies from nude beaches to 'escorts'. As a rule, be wary of tour companies who officially advertise the 'sex' factor on such tours. The best sex holidays are singles' vacations that give like-minded groups of men and women a common platform to mingle and have fun.
One, two, three, click!
A holiday like this is generally not sold off the shelf (at least, not openly!) as it touches the forbidden land of promoting 'prostitution'- which is legal in some countries and illegal in others. If you're the kind who doesn't have any qualms about prostitution, you may choose to go to countries where it's legal and safe, but do so at your own risk.
If you would rather avoid paying for sex (highly recommended), join a group where you are likely to find similar-minded women (or men, we are not judging!) to travel with. And there are plenty of such tours available. Google key words like 'adult holidays' and 'travel companion', to get to such websites.
Many tour companies design their itineraries for young, adventurous travelers looking to party together. There are no strict age groups, just a minimum age of 18 and no real male/female ratio. So you could end up with 60 per cent men on your tour group or 90 per cent women, depending on your luck.
Another interesting option to try out is a festival. Music festivals such as Glastonbury in the UK, Fuji Rock in Japan, Mardi Gras in New Orleans are score sports. An 'intellectual' approach works in cultural fests.
Whatever might be your way, go with an open mind and you might find more than what you are counting on!
World's top sex holiday destinations.
Like it kinky or plain fun? Here's where to head for any kind of adventure
Thailand Sun, sea, sand and sex.
There's plenty on offer from island hopping and beaches to lively nightlife and parties. One top destination for a sex-minded holiday is the Full Moon partying at Ko Pha Ngan, an alternative to the year round rowdiness of Koh Samui, just down south, mostly disguised under the label of 'spa' holidays.
Europe Continent of opportunities.
Cities like London, Paris, Amsterdam and Barcelona feature at the top of the list for holidays where one can grab enough opportunities. The Pigalle district on the north side of Paris, despite its sleazy reputation, has a vibrant nightlife and great food, other than the obvious of course! De Wallen, or the area also known as Rossebuurt in the heart of the oldest part of Amsterdam, is apparently the most visited Red Light district of the world. Barcelona has a good mix of it all-sun, sea, sand as well as culture and nightlife. In fact, Ibiza is the long-standing traditional sun-sea destination for all-night dance parties.
New Zealand Bungee jumping and lots of humping.
Queenstown is the hub of international travelers with its spectacular mountain scenery. It's also a great party town and with a backdrop of sun or snow, depending on the season. But if you want somewhere a bit more serene with sun and sea, head for the North Island and Auckland for great vibrant nightlife and a bit farther north to the Bay of Plenty for sea and water sports. Another place off the beaten track around this area is Hokianga, which boasts of the highest sand dune in the world for sand sledging. (And the ideal place for a quickie or a whole-day repeat show by the sea.)
South Africa hot and sexy in the sun.
Capetown is a great place to meet hot young guys and girls baking in the sun all year round, you can bake in the sun all day long and party in the many nightclubs scattered all up the beach. The best part about South Africa is their prices, for the same price as a holiday in London, you can live like a King is S.A, some of the best wine routes and sea food can be yours for next to nothing.
Japan Offbeat and unusual.
If you're after more of an offbeat destination then try Tokyo and Kyoto in Japan with the 'geisha tours'-the discreet way of hooking up with a girl. Or head down to Okinawa for remote island hopping on un-spoilt beaches.
North America Retro fun in the sun.
Head down Route 1 from San Francisco, along the Big Sur Coast in California for a traditionally hippy destination with sun and sea. An added bonus is that you can surf to your heart's content. Make a final stop in Los Angeles.
PS: Don’t forget the camera and Cam recorder and if you would like to share your holiday adventurers with us and our readers please E-mail or attach a link to your photos and video and send them to attachedanddating@gmail.com Happy Holidays.
You may be wondering why you are reading this, you probably already think you know how to masturbate. Most people think they do. The truth is that everyone masturbates at some point or another in their life, some do it frequently, while others merely do it to release stress or out of boredom sometimes. The question is though, do you really know how to masturbate?
The basic definition of how to masturbate is when you use your hands or another object to pleasure yourself. A man can masturbate by rubbing their penis with their hands, or an object such as a pillow. A woman masturbates by rubbing the outside of their vagina or by inserting an object such as a vibrator into their vagina. Again, this is the basic way, but there are so many different ways to masturbate to make it that much more enjoyable for you.
A new way to masturbate for a man could be the bend, pull, and squeeze. It may sound painful, but you need to try more fun ways to masturbate, so give it a chance. You merely hold your penis at the bottom while using a well lubricated hand to pull up squeezing with a little bit of pressure, and bending the shaft to the left or the right. You want a firm grip, but not too tight that it would be painful.
A new way to masturbate for a woman is the slip ‘n’ slide. You wrap a bunched up towel with saran wrap and then lubricate with a safe type of oil. Place it tightly between your legs along with a few pillows under it, and squeeze very tightly with the saran wrapped towel almost working its way into your vagina. The rocking motion as you go back and forth will give you a serious orgasmic experience.
There are so many fun ways to masturbate; you just have to find them. Use your imagination and just about anything you have in your home or in your mind can be used in some form. Items such as kitchen utensils suddenly have new meaning for women, just as broomsticks suddenly look very inviting for men. You can try both “regular” masturbation, or may you want to attempt anal masturbation either at the same time or by itself. Make an effort at finding out how to masturbate in a new and creative way to bring even more pleasure and excitement to your private moments.
Masturbation Techniques Masturbation is defined as sexual stimulation usually done to one’s own genitals to the point of orgasm. It can be accomplished manually, which means using your own hand, or by the use of objects or tools. There are some people, particularly women, that can only achieve orgasm through masturbation and not through sexual intercourse. This is why you need to learn specific masturbating techniques that can be enjoyable and you can use often during sex or alone.
There are numerous masturbation techniques for men and women that will give you different feelings, or different orgasm outcomes. Male masturbation techniques range from the full fist grip to the more uncommon pole straddling masturbating technique. The full fist grip is the most basic and common masturbating technique that men use. All of the fingers and your thumb are wrapped around the penis and using an up and down motion you will eventually reach orgasm. Some vary this technique by using just the forefinger and thumb. This is particularly helpful if you have a sensitive penis area.
Here are some other techniques that men can try:
The Mushroom when you hold your penis upright with one hand and gently rub the head with the other hand in a circular motion. Lubrication should be used.
The Campfire Method Just think of rubbing a stick together to start a fire, and use that back and forth motion on your penis. Lubrication should be used.
The Backhanded masturbation At first this may seem awkward, but you simply turn your hand around and use your index finger to stimulate parts you never knew you had.
The Interlocking Grip Locking your hands together and move up and down to stimulate orgasm. Lubrication is recommended.
There are others that will be explained later, but those are four that you can start practicing with. Female masturbating techniques are a bit more varied and are quite numerous. They are influenced by a number of factors such as stroking or rubbing the clitoris, use of vibrators with the rubbing, and other objects or movements that can add additional excitement.
Here are some of the most popular female masturbation techniques:
Riding the Floor Lie on the floor facing down, press your pubic bone to the floor, while rocking your body as if you are trying to crawl.
Making Up Taking a makeup brush, making sure it is clean and dry, and then use the fine bristles to stimulate the clitoris and the inner lips. You can also use a medium size paint brush or feathers.
Deep Penetration Insert a finger deep in the vagina and place your other hand directly on the back of the hand that is inside. Hold tight and press your finger in while using your thumb to stimulate your clitoris.
Simple and Multiple Simply take your finger and in a soothing motion rub gently around the hood of your clitoris. It is sensual and leads to multiple orgasms.
The best masturbation techniques are the ones that make you feel the most comfortable and give you the most pleasure. You should be daring and try as many as you see because ultimately you may find one specific technique that blows your mind.
Male Masturbation That Isn't Boring
Men have been masturbating basically since the dawn of time. In fact 99% of men masturbate, the other 1% lie about it. Although men and women both do it, men tend to think about it or plan it out more. Usually it is done in secret, maybe in the bathroom before work, or after the wife goes to bed. If you are lucky enough to live at home then you could masturbate all day long. Male Masturbation is usually about the final outcome, the intense pleasure that you know so well.
If you are getting bored with the basics of masturbation, then you should try some different male masturbation techniques. There are quite a few of them out there to give your hobby a new feel. One male masturbation technique that has been tried and enjoyed by man men is the Two Hands Full technique. It is a motion that is similar to milking a cow, the idea is to keep the motion going continuously by taking one hand and moving up, and follow right behind it with the other hand. It keeps the foreskin and testicles all the way up all the time so you have constant pleasure. You should use lubricant because of the fast motion, and it does take some practice but when it is done correctly you may never go back to the regular way.
Another different male masturbation technique is the pole straddling technique. Place a small pole or a broomstick between your legs and hold it steady while you masturbate. Moving up and down with your hips, you will find that as you are about to ejaculate your anus actually hugs the pole giving you an almost unbearable sensation. Again, this is one that you will have to practice before perfecting. It is worth it though.
Male masturbating techniques come in many forms and with different objects that can be involved. Here are just a few of the others:
One Top, One Bottom Hold the top of your head with one hand, while moving your other hand down towards your testicles.
Packing Tape Technique Wrap tape around your fingers and lubricate it to receive a whole new feeling of excitement.
Wringing It Out Although it may look strange and painful, it is quite pleasurable. Take your penis and wring it out like you would a washcloth. Start slowly and use lubrication to avoid friction.
Glass Ball Technique Move to the end of the bed so your testicles hang off. Place a glass underneath and let your balls fall into a tight fitting glass. Ejaculate like you normally would, pushing the glass with your testicles in it up against your perineum for an ultimate orgasm.
Again, there are many variations of techniques that can be used. Take your time and find something you like. One very important male masturbation tip to follow is to try to use the stop and go method while masturbating. Masturbate till you are just about to ejaculate and then stop for a few minutes, and then start again until you are right about to have your orgasm, and then stop again. By the time you reach the 3rd or 4th time your orgasm with be more intense and longer.
Male masturbation can be an exciting new adventure if you try different techniques. Don’t feel you have to stay with the same thing you did when you were 16 years old. Yes, it may feel good, but new techniques will feel unbelievable.
Female Masturbation for the Uninhibited
The most important thing to remember for effective female masturbation is to enjoy yourself. It sounds like common sense, but many women are uncomfortable or feel dirty when they masturbate. Some don’t do it all. Can you imagine life without the simple pleasure of masturbating? If you think you can then you need to read these masturbation techniques and tips that just may make you change your mind.
You can always start with the basic female masturbation techniques such as the clitoral roll. This is when you take your finger and thumb and gently roll your clitoris in a circular motion. You start slowly and increase the motion until you reach the right speed for your orgasm to occur. Another oldie but goodie is circling the clitoris. Place two fingers directly on the clitoris, and then rub in a circular motion around and around. You will eventually hit your sweet spot and bring yourself to orgasm quickly.
Double stimulation is always a favorite female masturbation technique. While inserting one or two fingers in the vagina, use your other hand to play with, rub, or tap your clitoris. This is one orgasm that might just send you over the edge. Another unbelievable orgasm comes in the shower. Find a comfortable position whether laying or standing with one leg up on the side, and take your shower head to explore your vagina. Using different streams of water and levels of pressure, wander around and try to find what spot works for you.
Some female masturbation tips that may work for you are:
Kegel exercises Tightening your vaginal muscles each day will help to build intensity and extend the orgasm length
For something different try taking a warm washcloth and putting Vaseline on it. When you rub it back and forth on your clitoris it is sure to get you aroused and cause orgasm. Also, you may want to try the silk ribbon or stocking approach. Put your hand in each foot of the stocking and rock the stocking back and forth and work it into your vulva area. It stimulates the clitoris in way that you may not ever have felt.
Female masturbation is about the love of your body, the experience of pure pleasure. You should relish in the fact that women have such wonderful almost secretive parts of their body that they can explore on a regular basis.
Enjoying Mutual Masturbation
After reading this, you will quickly realize that you never need to masturbate alone again. Mutual masturbation is a very intimate experience that is done with two people in the room. Whether it is done separately or by helping each other doesn’t really matter, it is just the point of being together that can enhance any mutual masturbation experience.
Some couples enjoy watching each other to see what the other person’s expressions are, or what technique they use to give them the most pleasure. You shouldn’t feel threatened by the self satisfaction that they are feeling. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like sexual intercourse with you or get a better feeling by themselves, it is just that satisfying yourself gives you a different type of feeling or rush. Sometimes it is simply because one partner is not in the mood to have sex but wants to watch their partner enjoy the arousal that they get by masturbation.
There are plenty of mutual masturbation techniques that can be enjoyed together also. Touching the mans testicles while he performs masturbation adds more pleasure to his orgasm, just like a man inserting his finger into a woman’s vagina will stimulate her more while she is rubbing her own clitoris. Even something as easy as touching the persons thigh or leg, or for women have the man caress your breast will inspire you to orgasm much quicker or with more intensity.
Mutual masturbation tips for couples are to be comfortable with each other. You should discuss your masturbation needs and desires before you actually work together to achieve orgasm. If one person doesn’t feel comfortable with mutual masturbation then it won’t be a good experience for either party. You need to calm any anxieties one person might have about their role in mutual masturbation, as well as quell any thoughts that they might not be performing up to expectations during sexual intercourse. Done in the presence of your partner the act of masturbation is pleasing and adds a level of intimacy that you might not have during sexual intercourse.
Mutual masturbation can include toys, pornography, erotica, as well as anything that is agreeable and enjoyable. In this time of pleasure you should work together to achieve what is so natural to both of you. Use each other or yourself to satisfy your partner, and benefit from their looks, their passion, and their emotions. Mutual masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, or thought of as wrong. It is a way to experience something with your partner that can keep your sex life active and exciting.
Masturbation Tips You Need To Know
Let’s get one thing out of the way first, no two people masturbate the same way every time. Everyone has different techniques to use, or different times of the day even. One thing is for certain though, the goal is always the same. Reaching orgasm is essential for enjoyable masturbation. If you are having problems reaching orgasm then you should follow these masturbation tips.
One masturbating tip you should follow always is to set the mood. In order to really enjoy the experience you should be totally relaxed and in an environment in which you won’t have any distractions. Take the phone off the hook, lock the doors, and play some soft music, anything that helps you to take your mind off of your problems and enjoy what nature has to offer.
Taking a little time off to pleasure yourself is not selfish, nor wrong. Select a room in which you can lie down, or sit comfortably, and let your inhibitions go. Usually people use a bathroom or bedroom, but any room that lets you be yourself will do. Another masturbating tip for both women and men is to take your time. Many people rush through the experience to reach the final result. That is not always the most pleasurable part of this experience. If you take the time to tease, and stimulate you will find your orgasm much more intense and enjoyable.
A masturbating tip for both men and women is to not be afraid to experiment with new techniques. Some may work for you while others may not. Try something new when given a chance so that you can find a way that makes it easier or more pleasing. Maybe you feel that it may work better with lubricant or toys. Then take the chance and try it, go right over to the sex store that you pass by and buy something to enhance your experience and your orgasm.
Try turning off the porn for a while – men, I’m talking to you. Listen to your body instead. A great tip on better masturbation is to experience the feelings. Many men are so intent on watching what is on TV that they are not using their mind, body, and emotions to really feel what is going on.
Last but not least, get your hips and your body moving. You aren’t being watched or evaluated so let your body go. Enjoy what is happening to your body. You may not know that your body moves very differently during masturbation than how it moves during sex. Men, who usually stay still, should try thrusting their hips to simulate sex.
Following these masturbation tips will allow creativity, pleasure, excitement and an all around better orgasm. Who would want that?
Homosexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction or behavior among members of the same sex, situationally or as an enduring disposition. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality is considered to lie within the heterosexual-homosexual continuum of human sexuality, and refers to an individual’s identity based on those attractions and membership in a community of others who share them.
The prevalence of homosexuality is difficult to determine accurately; studies suggest between ten and twenty percent of the population exhibit some degree of homosexual sensibility, though in many cultures homosexual relations have been prevalent. Homosexuality is widely encountered in the animal kingdom. Throughout history, individual aspects of homosexuality have been admired or condemned according to various societies' sexual norms.
When praised, those aspects were seen as a way to improve society; when condemned, particular activities were seen as a sin or a disease, and some homosexual behavior was prohibited by law. Since the middle of the 20th century homosexuality has been gradually delisted as a disease and decriminalized in nearly all developed countries. However, the legal status of homosexual relations varies widely by country and there remain jurisdictions in which certain homosexual behaviors are crimes with severe penalties including death.
Many homosexual people hide their feelings and activities out of fear of disapproval or aggression; they are commonly said to be closeted. Disclosing one's homosexual or bisexual orientation is known as coming out (of the closet). Efforts toward emancipation of homosexuality as it is currently understood began in the 1860s; since the mid-1950s there has been an accelerating trend towards increased visibility, acceptance, and civil rights for lesbian, gay and bisexual people.
Nevertheless, heterosexism and homophobia persist, and in particular young people subjected to it are at greater risk of socialization difficulties including suicide. Currently the most common adjectives in use are lesbian for women and gay for men, though some prefer other terms or none at all.
In the past, it could be said that talking to your teens about sexuality was relatively straightforward. These discussions normally centered on the average heterosexual relationships without any reference to alternative sexualities such as homosexual and bisexual orientations. However, it is imperative in modern society to teach our children about alternative sexual orientations and tolerance of those differences.
Gay teens are one of the most disadvantaged and vulnerable groups in society, facing the pressure and dangers of gay bashing' and other forms of homophobic bullying. There is a threefold likelihood of lesbian or gay teens being bullied than other youth.
These pressures in turn lead to a higher incidence of social isolation, alcohol and drug abuse, family problems, and low self esteem than their peers.
There is a relatively common belief that someone who is gay must have suffered some sexual trauma or has been influenced to make this decision by a gay adult. This is a myth as neither of these things influences sexuality. In the past, many have felt the need to hide their homosexuality and have lived their life feeling as though they are living a lie. However, in more recent times, teens are coming out' much more often and at a younger age.
Talking to parents about their sexuality can sometimes be difficult, if not seemingly impossible. If they have heard anti-gay conversations between their parents or others close to them, this may contribute to their fear. In some situations, these youth run away from home because they feel that they cannot deal with the reaction of their parents.
There are also many gay teens that are forced out of their homes by parents who are unable to deal with their teen's sexuality. Even for those who remain at home, the tension that occurs when the teen comes out' can push relationships between the parents and the child beyond breaking point. This can lead to verbal or even physical violent eruptions between both parties, leading to severe relational breakdown. The trauma of this resistance to the teen's sexual identity can be emotionally devastating. This resistance may be particularly high in parents who have been raised with the conviction that homosexuality is always wrong.
Becoming a teenager is already a big deal regardless of whether the person is heterosexual or homosexual but for the gay teen, the issues are far more frightening. Often, the teen is already having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he or she is homosexual and is already fearful of peoples' intolerance of them. The ultimate rejection by their parents on the basis of gender issues leaves the person feeling totally confused and isolated.
The incidence of suicide among gay teens is around three times that of their heterosexual counterparts though sexuality and gender issues are not in themselves, seen as a risk factor for suicide. However, the feelings of isolation and of being different can drive many to suicidal behavior.
Perhaps the difference in acceptance of homosexuals could begin in what we teach children in earlier years. After all, bigotry is something that is learned from a young age. Make your children aware that any form of hatred and discrimination is unacceptable and instill these values as early as possible.
When discussing sexuality with your children, explain that homosexuals have not choice and that they need to be respected as people just as anyone else does.
Let's do what we can to stop contaminating the minds of our young and causing the discrimination against other people, whether based on race, religion, or sexual orientation.
Gay teenagers need empathy from those around them and from their healthcare provider. Otherwise, they may feel isolated and worthless, thus pressuring them into taking risks with their sexual health. Having sex with someone of the same gender does not eliminate the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and gay teens need to be aware of this and comfortable enough to discuss these problems with their doctor without fear of prejudice.
Becoming a teenager is a huge milestone for both teenagers and parents and it is particularly so when the teenager is gay. As parents, it is important to reassure the teenager that being gay really is okay and that, regardless of their sexual identity, you love them anyway.
Though the gay community has gained some civil rights over the years, it is important to continue the fight to erode the conservative views on gay issues. Only then can the gay community have the same freedoms as their heterosexual counterparts. The American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and the National Association of Social Workers state:
“ Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of or disposition to experience sexual, affectional, or romantic attractions primarily to men, to women, or to both sexes. It also refers to an individual’s sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them. Although sexual orientation ranges along a continuum from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual, it is usually discussed in terms of three categories: heterosexual (having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of the other sex), homosexual (having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of one’s own sex), and bisexual (having a significant degree of sexual and romantic attraction to both men and women).
Sexual orientation is distinct from other components of sex and sexuality, including biological sex (the anatomical, physiological, and genetic characteristics associated with being male or female), gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female), and social gender role (adherence to cultural norms defining feminine and masculine behavior).
Sexual orientation is commonly discussed as a characteristic of the individual, like biological sex, gender identity, or age. This perspective is incomplete because sexual orientation is always defined in relational terms and necessarily involves relationships with other individuals. Sexual acts and romantic attractions are categorized as homosexual or heterosexual according to the biological sex of the individuals involved in them, relative to each other.
Indeed, it is by acting – or desiring to act – with another person that individuals express their heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. This includes actions as simple as holding hands with or kissing another person. Thus, sexual orientation is integrally linked to the intimate personal relationships that human beings form with others to meet their deeply felt needs for love, attachment, and intimacy. In addition to sexual behavior, these bonds encompass nonsexual physical affection between partners, shared goals and values, mutual support, and ongoing commitment.
Consequently, sexual orientation is not merely a personal characteristic that can be defined in isolation. Rather, one’s sexual orientation defines the universe of persons with whom one is likely to find the satisfying and fulfilling relationships that, for many individuals, comprise an essential component of personal identity.
Choice vs. innate
The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, and National Association of Social Workers state:
“ Sexual orientation has proved to be generally impervious to interventions intended to change it, which are sometimes referred to as “reparative therapy.” No scientifically adequate research has shown that such interventions are effective or safe. Moreover, because homosexuality is a normal variant of human sexuality, national mental health organizations do not encourage individuals to try to change their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Therefore, all major national mental health organizations have adopted policy statements cautioning the profession and the public about treatments that purport to change sexual orientation. ”
The American Academy of Pediatrics states:
“ The current literature and most scholars in the field state that one’s sexual orientation is not a choice; that is, individuals do not choose to be homosexual or heterosexual. ”
Sexual orientation change efforts Main article: Sexual orientation change efforts Major US, UK and Australian professional and scientific organizations regard attempts to change people's sexual orientation as potentially harmful, while fringe groups, often motivated by religious beliefs, believe change is possible, or homosexual attraction diminished, for those who cannot accept their sexual orientation.
The Royal College of Psychiatrists states that it "shares the concern of both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association that positions espoused by bodies like the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) in the United States are not supported by science. There is no sound scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed. Furthermore so-called treatments of homosexuality as recommended by NARTH create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish," and added that "The best evidence for efficacy of any treatment comes from randomized clinical trials and no such trial has been carried out in this field."
A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be easy -- our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking, it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.
Women are cyclic creatures, and her sex drive will vary depending on her hormones and what’s going on in her life. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to get her hot and the same-old song and dance may not be enough. This applies to you too. Therefore, it's important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.
Here are 10 tips for better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.
Number 10 Blindfold her
Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses -- via the brain -- clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness -- sight, smell, touch, and vibrations. For No. 10 entry on our 10 tips for better sex guide, we're telling you that you can tap into this innate ability of ours and use it to your advantage: Blindfolding your partner increases her sensory awareness. She doesn’t know where you are or what you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex -- the tease. Tease her mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites her nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to over stimulate the nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void.
Number 9 Give her instructions
After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently.
To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each other's mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way it’s done." Lose this myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a while for better sex you won't regret.
Number 8 Massage
Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner, which is why it makes it onto our 10 tips for better sex list. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow -- including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: the fuel (our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently and ineffectively.
A relaxing sensual massage can unlock her body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for her: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch -- you don’t want to relax her too deeply because she will probably fall straight to sleep.
The key to better sex in this case is to keep her senses alert, but her body relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory feather-light caresses. Once you've relaxed her major muscles -- shoulders and back -- work your way down to her buttocks. Strokes can then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease and vagina. Don’t forget her hands and feet -- there are thousands of nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch. If you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one, spend some time in "lesson time" with your partner and learn what you both like or just run your hands all over her body -- all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect.
Number 7 Have her dress up
Pretending to be something you're not comes easily to some people. However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role of being "yourself" can be a fun way to give each other permission to behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some different sensations, and try things that you haven’t done before. Role playing is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a light-hearted but sexy way. It is often the woman who does the dressing up simply because A) They enjoy it; and B) They have the resources of clothes, underwear and makeup -- but don't forget that you can play too..
Number 6 Tell her your fantasies
Talking about your fantasies with your partner is a very conducive form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner, which is of great importance, as well, it also helps you get to know each other better for better sex. Yes, you may be surprised by what comes out of her mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first and don’t throw her in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fetishes you aren't sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine and keep your clothes on -- for now. Fantasy play can also be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination, and keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.
Number 5 Play a game
Get a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem like something you would have done when you were in high school (given the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is performed on them by the loser.
Time limits like one minute on said action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There are many other games you can play "strip" to, as long as there is regular winner and loser to reward and punish respectively. The great part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in the end.
Number 4 Dirty talk
Talking dirty has turned people on for millennia and will continue to do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken word automatically -- especially when someone says our name. The spoken word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions, depending on the topic.
This works very much in your favor when it comes to talking dirty to your lover because women are especially susceptible to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can result in fits of giggles (which, lets face it, ain't so bad but isn't quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.
For better sex, start off easy with neutral dirty-talk topics, such as how you feel inside her, how much you are enjoying the act and what you would like to do to her next. Don’t get too carried away, but let it flow out of you. Dirty talk can be a bit daunting at first, if you are not used to verbalizing these things, so practice. You will see how she responds to you. Dirty talk also comes under the "encouragement" category -- when she sees that you like something very much, she will be more interested in doing it more. The rawness of the sexual passion aroused with dirty talk is why it is so effective.
Be careful with swearing too much -- though a good dose of foul language is part and parcel with dirty talk (its not called dirty talk for nothing), too much swearing/name calling can be a turn off. Try to stick to positive words, and leave the commonly used insult words out. Watch what you call her body parts too -- just make sure she can handle it before launching into your tirade of filth. Chances are, the passion from you will ignite hers two-fold.
Number 3 Try a new position
You already know how to bring her to orgasm in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work -- there's no harm in that. However, if you never, ever try any new positions again, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a new pose when she is quite obviously feeling very randy.
There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the position, so consider this too (for example on top of the washing machine, on a bench, beanbag or table).
Number 2 Use a cock ring
Cock rings slow the drain of blood out of your erection, and keep you harder for longer. A very hard penis stimulates a woman’s insides slightly differently -- and much better -- than one that is getting soft around the edges. Cock rings are inexpensive and usually nice to look at, and make an interesting male sex toy to add to your collection. Cock rings ensure that you can maintain the pace without faltering for better sex. This is very pleasing to your lady friend.
Number 1 Try a new place
Sex in a new locale is definitely up there in exciting things to do for better sex. You can take a drive somewhere secluded where you can get a bit risqué. Try a public place (not too public) or simply move to a different room or area in your home -- or even someone else’s home. Whatever tickles your fancy. There are a million and one different places to have sex other than your home, in your bed -- use them.
Increase your pleasure The list of helpful hints you have been presented with equates to a very good head start to a better sex life. The time and energy required to plan your adventures will pay off immediately, but also over the longer term. You will be rewarded according to the effort you put in with a great new skill set, and of course better sex. Make time, conserve some energy for it and relax. Life is short!
Do you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoint you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something missing? If you answered yes to one or all of those questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have always wanted from a relationship.
Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship. Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners' need, stress becomes a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for you to be happy. The constant stress will produce chemical changes in your body that drain your energy and make you more eligible for physical illnesses.
Physical abuse in a relationship is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped and incapable of leaving. They find themselves depressed, on a search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and possibly turning to drugs and alcohol.
So what are the symptoms of this addiction? Ignoring the truth would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. Making excuses for your partner's disappointing and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic.
If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored.
What causes addiction to bad relationships? There are several levels and everyone's addiction is different and varies. One common reason is the feeling and belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could possibly be interested in you or love you. You grow so attached to your partner that you forgot your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and taking care of yourself.
Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying. Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behavior from your lover, since they are supporting you.
Having a child together can also blind you or cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your child's mother or father. On a deeper level, you could be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be neglected from love, care and understanding.
What should you do and how can you break a bad relationship addiction? Since this addiction is difficult and basically impossible for you to end on your own, counseling would be the best assistance for you. Find a counselor or service in which experts provide their services through, and take that first step in accepting the fact that you have an addiction and that you need and want help to conquer it. Start being a best friend to yourself and open the door to all the feelings you have kept locked up for so long.
Stay focused and encourage yourself frequently by setting a goal, and picturing yourself away from all the disappointment and closer to all the happiness and good health you need, desire and deserve as a person. Never give up and know that you are not alone. There are people who can help you, know how to help and will help you. Mainly, keep in mind that there will always be a person who will be by your side and never leave you, always giving you the strength, love and support you need... and that person is YOU.
In an ever changing world one thing is constant, pregnancy in youths and STD’s. In the last 30 years STD’s like AIDS has killed and infected more people than any other plague in modern history surprisingly this has not effected the mind set of our youth.
A study by the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health and the Guttmacher Institute, found that there has been a 27 per cent drop in contraceptive use by teenagers, between 2003 and 2007.
In addition, the experts found that the levels of sexual activity among teens remained the same, and the birth rate has increased by 16 per cent. The study also reported that black teens demonstrated the most notable decrease in the use of birth control methods. All the figures include both the rate of contraception use as well as the types of contraceptives used, as different methods vary in their effectiveness.
Between 1991 and 2003, the use of condoms by teenagers increased, whereas their use of no contraceptive method dropped, resulting in a lower risk of pregnancy and to declines in teen pregnancy and childbirth. According to the current findings, teen condom use leveled off and in some cases even went down.
The study found that the change in teen's attitude towards contraceptive use is consistent with higher rates in the teen birth rate in 2006 and 2007 as reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and may be a precursor for further increases in teen pregnancies and births in 2008.
"After major improvements in teen contraceptive use in the 1990s and early 2000s, which led to significant declines in teen pregnancy and the spread of AIDS, it is disheartening to see a reversal of such a positive trend," Dr. John S. Santelli of the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, said in a statement. Dr. Santelli added that teenagers are still having sexual intercourse, but it appears that many of them are not taking the necessary precautions in order to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.
The study did not conduct an investigation on why these trends have taken place. But according to Dr. Santelli, it could be because of a number of factors, such as rising complacency about the AIDS epidemic and safe sex to protect against HIV. The expert also speculated that the recent increased focus on encouraging children to stay abstinent until they get married, rather than educating them about birth control methods, may also be at least partly to blame.
Now, this question remains highly controversial, and disputed by advocates of sex education programs that concentrate on abstinence. But the president Obama's administration has made an announcement recently that it plans to cut funding for such programs and only support those that have been proven to work. The authors of the study recommend that both the state and national levels should get involved in order to promote contraceptive use among teenagers by means of medically accurate sex education and increased access to health services. Researchers say that only this way the problem of teen pregnancy could be addressed in the most effective way.
I believe that this problem needs to be addressed at home; the days are long gone when we could keep our children in the dark about sex and leave it to the schools and government agencies to educate the youth about sex and the consequences. We need to stand up and save our children once and for all, we know that teens are going to have sex and that there is nothing we can do about it, but we can give them contraceptives and the right education about sex.
This weekend I came to realization that what I know about women is very out dated. This was no surprise to me as I am a man in the 21st century and I have come to terms with the fact that I will never understand women the way they would like me too.
While surfing the web and doing some research this weekend I was amazed to find that blog after blog was about women, their sexuality and mostly about what gets them off, this was a great find for me as every day I learn something new about the fairer sex, what I did not expect to find was that half these blogs, where about the authors sex life, photos of the author nude or photos and videos of the author having sex, what was even stranger was that most of these women where in their 30’s and at least half of them where married.
As I’m very open to nudity and sex this did not bother me at all, to be honest I love that there are women out there enjoying their bodies and wanting to share it with others. What did make me wonder was most of the women I know are very against public nudity, talking about sex in detail and they would never create a blog and have nude photos of themselves on it.
Am I missing something?
Are all the women I know lying to me about what they like or is it that some how I have found all the prudes in the world to become friends with? On a daily basis I am ridiculed by the opposite sex because of my healthy interest in sex and nudity, I can’t help that I was brought up by a hippy mother that believed that sex and nudity was very natural and that exploring ones self was a healthy way of living, plus as I’m a amateur artist and I studied fine arts for 3 years of my life, the nude body has becomes something of great beauty to me not just some piece of flesh.
So my question to all the ladies out there is: What do you like? Would you share your most intimate moments with yourself with others and from what I have told you about my research today, what are your views on this subject?
Please don’t be shy as everyone that reads my blog are liberated from the daily conforms of society and would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this topic.
If you happen to be one of these liberated ladies, please leave a message and a link to your blog plus you can scroll to the bottom of the page and upload a photo of yourself by E-mailing me. Signing off until next time.
In these modern times there are so many activities that a couple or a group of friends can do, that some times we forget about the more erotic entertainment that we can take part in. Erotic entertainment has been around for thousands of years and today makes up a large part of Sin tax. But a lot of people have the wrong idea of what erotic entertainment is all about, it’s about fun and fantasy, nothing more and nothing less, when was the last time you and your partner when to a strip club? Never, why?
If you are female you have been to a hens party, or a ladies night and you have enjoyed it, the same with men, going to a bachelors party or strip club with the guys is something that everyone has done at some point in there life. The surprising thing is that more women and couples are going to these venues together, the reason is that as people open up to their true nature, more of them are realizing that they can enjoy these venues together and in most cases, can enhance their relationship rather than damaging it. Trust is the key, and if you have trust in your relationship then you can do anything. So let’s look at what you and your partner or friends can do or watch.
Pole dancing Pole dancing is a form of performing art, a combination of dancing and gymnastics. It involves dancing sensually with a vertical pole and is often used in strip clubs and gentlemen's clubs, a similar pole (Chinese poles) is used in cabaret/circus and stage performance in a non-erotic environment, the style and moves are very different.
Advanced pole dancing requires significant strength, flexibility and endurance. In a strip club setting, pole dancing is often performed less gymnastically and combined with striptease, Go-Go, and or lap dancing between performers. The dancer(s) may simply hold the pole, or use it to perform more athletic moves such as climbs, spins, and body inversions. Upper body and core strength are important to proficiency, which takes time to develop.
Pole dancing is now regarded as a recognized form of exercise and can be used as both an aerobic and anaerobic workout. Recognized schools and qualifications are being developed as pole dancing increases in popularity, with the overall sex appeal toned down. Recently, pole dancing has caught on as a new and increasingly popular form of exercise, in which women (and sometimes men) use the pole as a workout prop. This form of exercise increases upper body strength (by using the body itself as resistance) while toning the body as a whole. Pole dancing as an exercise is very similar to Mallakhamb, an Indian men's sport with no erotic component, but there is no evidence of a link.
It is probable pole dancing started in America in the 1920's depression with dancers in traveling shows using a tent pole as a prop. The relationship to Chinese poles is unclear, Chinese troupes performed in Barnum and Bailey's circus from 1914 but they did not perform on poles.
Lap dance A lap dance is a type of erotic dance performed in some strip clubs in which the patron is seated, and the dancer is either in immediate contact (contact dancing) with the patron, or within a very short distance. Depending on the local jurisdiction and community standards, lap dances can involve touching of the dancer by the patron, the patron by the dancer, neither, or both; the dancer may be naked, topless or fully clothed. Variant terms include couch dance which is a lap dance where the customer is seated on a couch, and bed dance where the customer lies down.
In some places a block session (usually half an hour to an hour) can be booked in the champagne room, where the dancer and the patron talk in an intimate setting and drink champagne together. The dancer might perform lap dances too, depending on the patron's wishes. In many clubs, the duration of a lap dance is measured by the length of the song being played by the club's DJ. Charges for lap dances vary. Sometimes, sexual partners will perform lap dances for their partners as a teasing kind of foreplay.
Full-contact lap dances often involve non-penetrative sex where the stripper may rub her lap or genitalia (if naked) against the patron's. Local jurisdictions and community standards typically determine how much and where the patron can touch the dancer during the lap dance. In some cases, any touching by the patron is forbidden. On the other hand, absent any oversight by the club, various levels of contact may be negotiable between the participants. Clubs vary widely with regard to whether they enforce their rules, or turn a blind eye to violations. Some patrons wear a condom before they enter the club: along with wearing pants that are very loose, this allows the man to have so called dry sex, while being safe.
Striptease
A striptease is an erotic or exotic dance in which the performer gradually undresses, either partly or completely, in a seductive and sexually suggestive manner. The person who performs a striptease is commonly known as a "stripper" or exotic dancer. Stripteases have been known in some form in most cultures, from ancient Babylon and Egypt, to those of today.
In Western countries, the venues where stripteases are performed on a regular basis are now usually called strip clubs, though they may be performed in venues such as pubs (especially in the UK), theaters and music halls. In addition to night club entertainment, stripping can be a form of sexual play between partners. This can be done as an impromptu event or—perhaps for a special occasion—with elaborate planning involving fantasy wear, music, special lighting, practiced dance moves, and even dance moves that have been previously unpracticed. Striptease involves a slow, sensuous undressing, with the audience urging the stripper to remove more clothing.
The stripper may prolong the undressing with delaying tactics such as the wearing of additional clothes or putting clothes or hands in front of just undressed body parts, such as breasts or between the legs. Emphasis is on the act of undressing along with sexually suggestive movement, rather than the state of being undressed. In the past, the performance often finished as soon as the undressing was finished, though today strippers usually continue dancing in the nude. The costume the stripper wears before disrobing can form part of the act. These could be fantasy themed: such as a schoolgirl uniform, maid's dress, policewoman's outfit, besides others.
Striptease and nudity have been subject to legal and cultural prohibitions and other aesthetic considerations and taboos. Restrictions on venues may be through venue licensing requirements and constraints and a wide variety of national and local laws. These laws vary considerably around the world, and even between different parts of the same country. In the 1880s and 1890s, Parisian shows such as the Moulin Rouge and Folies Bergere were featuring attractive scantily-clad women dancing and tableaux vivants. In this environment, an act in the 1890s featured a woman slowly removed her clothes in a vain search for a flea crawling on her body.
The People's Almanac credits the act as the origin of modern striptease. In 1905, the notorious and tragic Dutch dancer Mata Hari, later shot as spy by the French authorities during World War I, was an overnight success from the debut of her act at the Musée Guimet. The most celebrated segment of her act was her progressive shedding of clothing until she wore just a jeweled bra and some ornaments over her arms and head. Another landmark performance was the appearance at the Moulin Rouge in 1907 of an actress called Germaine Aymos who entered dressed only in three very small shells. In the 1930s the famous Josephine Baker danced semi-nude in the danse sauvage at the Folies and other such performances were provided at the Tabarin. These shows were notable for their sophisticated choreography and often dressing the girls in glitzy sequins and feathers. By the 1960s "fully nude" shows were provided at such places as Le Crazy Horse Saloon.
In America, striptease started in carnivals and burlesque theatres, and featured famous strippers such as Gypsy Rose Lee and Sally Rand. The vaudeville trapeze artist, Charmion, performed a "disrobing" act onstage as early as 1896, which was captured in the 1901 Edison film, Trapeze Disrobing Act. Another milestone for modern American striptease is the possibly legendary show at Minsky's Burlesque in April 1925: The Night They Raided Minsky's. The Minsky brothers brought burlesque to New York's 42nd Street. However the burlesque theatres here were prohibited from having striptease performances in a legal ruling of 1937 leading to the later decline of these "grindhouses" (named after the bump 'n grind entertainment on offer) into venues for exploitation cinema.
The sixties saw a revival of striptease in the form of topless go-go dancing. This eventually merged with the older tradition of burlesque dancing. Carol Doda of the Condor Night Club in the North Beach section of San Francisco is given the credit of being the first topless go-go dancer. The club opened in 1964 and Doda's première topless dance occurred on the evening of June 19 of that year. The large lit sign in front of the club featured a picture of her with red lights on her breasts. The club went "bottomless" on September 3, 1969 and began the trend of explicit "full nudity" in American striptease dancing. San Francisco is also the location of the notorious Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre. Originally an X-rated movie theater this striptease club pioneered lap dancing in 1980, and was a major force in popularizing it in strip clubs on a nationwide and eventually world wide basis. In the seventies, with changing cultural expressions of sexuality and the influence of feminism, striptease declined in popular appeal and status.
In Britain in the 1930s, when Laura Henderson began presenting nude shows at the Windmill Theatre, London, the British law prohibited naked girls from moving. To get around the prohibition the models appeared in stationary tableaux vivants. The Windmill girls also toured other London and provincial theatres, sometimes using ingenious devices such as rotating ropes to move their bodies round, though strictly speaking, staying within the letter of the law by not moving of their own volition. Another example of the way the shows stayed within the law was the fan dance, in which a naked dancer's body was concealed by her fans and those of her attendants, until the end of her act in when she posed naked for a brief interval whilst standing still.
In 1942 Phyllis Dixey formed her own company of girls and rented the Whitehall Theatre in London to put on a review called The Whitehall Follies. By the 1950s touring striptease acts were used to attract audiences to the dying music halls. Paul Raymond started his touring shows in 1951 and later leased the Doric Ballroom in Soho and opened his private members club,the Raymond Revuebar in 1958.This was the first of the private striptease members clubs in Britain. Changes in the law in the 1960s brought about a boom of strip clubs in Soho with 'fully nude' dancing and audience participation. Pubs were also used as a venue, most particularly in the East End with a concentration of such venues in the district of Shoreditch.
This pub striptease seems in the main to have evolved from topless go-go dancing. Though often a target of local authority harassment, some of these pubs survive to the present day. An interesting custom in these pubs is that the strippers walk round and collect money from the customers in a beer jug before each individual performance. This custom appears to have originated in the late 1970s when topless go-go dancers first started collecting money from the audience as the fee for going "fully nude". Private dances of a more raunchy nature are sometimes available in a separate area of the pub.
Striptease became popular in Japan after the end of World War II. When entrepreneur Shigeo Ozaki saw Gypsy Rose Lee perform, he started his own striptease revue in Tokyo's Shinjuku neighborhood. During the 1950s, Japanese "strip shows" became more sexually explicit and less dance-oriented, until they were eventually simply live sex shows.
Live Sex Shows
A sex show is a form of performance in which customers pay to see live persons appearing performing some type of sexual activity. The sexual performance may be autoerotic or with another performer and may be actual or simulated. Sex shows are distinguished from striptease in that the performers engage in real sexual activity rather than simply undressing and dancing nude.
Sex shows are also distinguished from prostitution in that the performer engages in sexual activity with another performer or masturbates themselves for the entertainment of a customer rather than engaging in sex with the customer directly. Sex shows, however, do overlap with other forms of sex work; some strip clubs and peep shows offer live sex performances, and some prostitutes offer sexual performances with other prostitutes among their services. It's usually common among voyeurs and "Pussy-Watchers".
The content of a sex show is often controlled by national and local legal, zoning, and licensing restrictions, particularly obscenity laws. Some areas allow striptease, but no sexual activity, others may allow only simulated sexual activity or autoerotic activity, while others allow anything that is legal in recorded pornography to be performed live. Generally speaking, autoerotic activity is the most common legally-available kind of live sexual activity, followed by lesbian performances, with male-female and male-male performances being featured in only a few cities throughout the world, notably Amsterdam’s Red Light District and Barcelona. An increasingly common form of sex show are adult webcam performances in which the viewer is able to view and interact with sexual performers in real time, though the viewer and performer may be separated by wide geographical distances.
In Part 1, we had a look at the light hearted aspects of sexual sub-cultures, things like Swingers, Furries and the leather and latex communities. In Part 2, we are going to look at the darker side of sexual sub-culture, now I’m not saying that what we are about to talk about is evil in anyway, and if done properly and safely can be a lot of fun. So lets start.
BDSM sub-culture
BDSM is a compound acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&s, D/s, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. While not always overtly sexual in nature, the activities and relationships within a BDSM context are almost always eroticized by the participants in some fashion. Many of these practices fall outside of conventional sexual activities and human relationships.
Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are characterized by the fact that the participants usually take on complementary, but unequal, roles. Typically, participants who are active — applying the activity or exercising control over others — are known as tops or Dominants. Those participants who are recipients of the activities, or who are controlled by their partners, are typically known as bottoms or sub-missives. Individuals who move between top/dominant roles and bottom/submissive roles—either periodically within a relationship, or from relationship to relationship—are known as S/switches.
BDSM activities and relationships differ from conventional activities and relationships in that they are based on the concept of partners taking on deliberately unequal but complementary roles, in an eroticized - but not always sexual - context. I.G. Frederick's novel Dommemoir, for example, is a fictionalized story of one woman's quest for complete ownership and control of her male slave.
Beyond these basic tenets of eroticism, and of purposefully unequal roles within an activity or an interpersonal relationship, there is almost nothing which universally unites all the disparate subcultures which are grouped under the umbrella term BDSM. Interpersonal relationships which are based on the social conventions of one of the BDSM subcultures exist in marked contrast with the current Western ideal of such relationships being based on a partnership between equals.
While the terminology for these unequal roles varies widely within the various BDSM subcultures, Top and Dominant are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity which are respectively the physically active or controlling participants, and Bottom and Submissive are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity which are respectively the physically receptive or controlled participants. The interaction between Tops and Bottoms, where physical and/or mental control of the Bottom is surrendered to the Top - whether in the context of a short term encounter typically referred to as a scene, or in the context of a longer-term relationship - is sometime known as power exchange.
BDSM actions often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as "play," "a scene" or "a session." All parties involved usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices that are performed, such as inflicting pain, humiliation or being restrained would be considered unpleasant under normal circumstances. Sexual intercourse, be it oral, anal or vaginal, may occur within a session, but is not essential. The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it should be performed by mature and responsible partners, of their own volition, and in a safe way.
Since the 1980s these basic principles have been condensed into the motto "Safe, sane and consensual", abbreviated as SSC, which means that everything is based on safe, sane and consenting behavior of all involved parties. This mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence. Some BDSM practitioners prefer a code of behavior that differs from "SSC" and described as "Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK), indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being. RACK focuses primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices.
Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have all relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safe-word will be used, what that is, etc.) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is often summarized in a "contract", an agreement of what can and cannot take place.
In general, it must be possible for the consenting partner to withdraw his or her consent at any given time; for example, by using a safe-word that was agreed on in advance. Failure to honor a safe-word is considered the most serious misconduct that can take place in BDSM and can even change the sexual consent situation into a crime, depending on the relevant law, since the bottom has explicitly revoked his or her consent to any actions which follow the use of the safe-word.
Bondage and Discipline
Bondage and Discipline are two aspects of BDSM that do not necessarily relate to one another, but can appear jointly. The term "Bondage" describes the practice of restraining for pleasure. Bondage is usually, but not always, a sexual practice. While bondage is a very popular variation within the larger field of BDSM, it is nevertheless sometimes differentiated from the rest of this field. Studies among BDSM practitioners in the U.S. have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic; many women do as well.
Strictly speaking, bondage means binding the partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of handcuffs or by lashing their arms to an object. Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with chains to a St. Andrews cross or spreader bars. The term "Discipline" describes the use of rules and punishment to control overt behavior in BDSM. Punishment can be pain caused physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as a public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically (e.g. chaining the Bottom to the foot of a bed). Another aspect is the structured training of the Bottom.
Dominance and submission
"Dominance and submission" (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context. It explores the more mental aspect of BDSM. This is also the case in many relationships not considering themselves as sadomasochistic; it is considered to be a part of BDSM if it is practiced cognizantly. The range of its individual characteristics is thereby wide.
Strappado
Strappado uses rope and a spreader bar much like bondage, but this practice has a distinct effect of immobilization and pain. Examples of mentally orientated practices are education games, during which the dominant requires certain forms of behavior from the submissive. Special forms include erotic role-play like age-play, in which a difference in age, either real or enacted, formulates the background; or pet-play. Concerted deployed sexual rejection exercised on the partner can be an aspect of Dominance and Submission as well.
The most established and probably most cliché set form of dominance and submission is dominance and slavedom. These can be administrated for the short duration of a session among otherwise-emancipated partners, but also can be integrated into everyday life indefinitely. In a few relationships, it leads as far as total submission of one partner in the truest sense of the phrase total power exchange. Compensating elements of the total dominance and submission are care and devotion complementing one another, thus facilitating stable relationships. The consensual submission of the sub is sometimes demonstrated to others by symbols indicating his/her belonging to the dom, such as wearing a collar, special tattoos, piercings, a very short haircut or a bald head.
Occasionally, actual "slave contracts" are set out in writing to record the formal consent of the parties to the power exchange, stating their common vision of the relationship dynamic. Such documents have not been recognized as being legally binding. Contracts that are contra bonos mores (contrary to public morals) are generally illegal, and such contracts can even be constitutionally prohibited.
In Europe, such agreements may be contrary to Article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights which grants a general freedom from "un-human or degrading treatment". This right had been held to be absolute and no limitations or derogations are permitted by the Convention. Nevertheless, the mere existence of such purported contracts has resulted in banner headlines in yellow press publications, and uninformed third parties seeing such information out of context are periodically led to rejecting and condemning the relationships they describe.
Sadomasochism
The term "Sadomasochism" is derived from the words "Sadism" and "Masochism" In the context of consensual sexual activities, sadism and masochism are not strictly accurate terms; there is a significant difference from the medical or psychological usage of both terms. Sadomasochism refers to the physical aspects of BDSM. Sadism describes sexual pleasure derived by inflicting pain, degradation, or humiliation on another person.
On the other hand, the masochist enjoys being bound, spanked or suffering within the consensual scenario. Sadomasochism does not imply enjoyment through causing or receiving pain in other situations (e.g. accidental injury, medical procedures). Discipline often incorporates sadomasochistic aspects. Sadomasochism is practiced in isolation relatively rarely, although certain practices BDSM can be performed solo, such as self-bondage and autoerotic asphyxia, but such practices can be dangerous, at times resulting in injury or death.
Hi My Name is Paul.
I'm a blogger most of the time and a artist the rest.
I love the human body and i love everyting you can do with it, I'm always looking to try something new or find out as much about it as posible.
Homosexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction or behavior among members of the same sex, situationally or as an enduring disposition. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality is considered to lie within the heterosexual-homosexual continuum of human sexuality, and refers to an individual’s identity based on those attractions and membership in a community of others who share them.
In Part 1, we had a look at the light hearted aspects of sexual sub-cultures, things like Swingers, Furries and the leather and latex communities.
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