Understanding Bisexuality

Bisexuality is sexual behavior with or physical attraction to both sexes (male and female), or a bisexual orientation. People who have a bisexual orientation "can experience sexual, emotional, and affectionate attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex"; "it also refers to an individual’s sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them.” It is one of the three main classifications of sexual orientation, along with a heterosexual and a homosexual orientation. Individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to either sex are known as asexual.
Bisexuality has been observed in various human societies and elsewhere in the animal kingdom throughout recorded history. The term bisexuality, however, like the terms hetero- and homosexuality, was coined in the 19th century.
Description

Despite misconceptions, bisexuality does not require that a person be attracted equally to both sexes. In fact, people who have a distinct but not exclusive preference for one sex over the other may still identify themselves as bisexual. A 2005 study by researchers Gerulf Rieger, Meredith L. Chivers, and J. Michael Bailey, which attracted media attention, purported to find that bisexuality is extremely rare in men. This was based on results of controversial penile plethysmograph testing when viewing pornographic material involving only men and pornography involving only women. Critics state that this study works from the assumption that a person is only truly bisexual if he or she exhibits virtually equal arousal responses to both opposite-sex and same-sex stimuli, and have consequently dismissed the self-identification of people whose arousal patterns showed even a mild preference for one sex.

Some researchers say that the technique used in the study to measure genital arousal is too crude to capture the richness (erotic sensations, affection, admiration) that constitutes sexual attraction. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force called the study and The New York Times coverage of it flawed and biphobic. FAIR also criticized the study.
In 1995, Harvard Shakespeare professor Marjorie Garber made the academic case for bisexuality with her 600 page, Vice Versa: Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life in which she argued that most people would be bisexual if not for "repression, religion, repugnance, denial" and "premature specialization."

Sexual orientation, identity, behavior

American Psychological Association states that sexual orientation "describes the pattern of sexual attraction, behavior and identity e.g. homosexual (aka gay, lesbian), bisexual and heterosexual (aka straight)." "Sexual attraction, behavior and identity may be incongruent. For example, sexual attraction and/or behavior may not necessarily be consistent with identity. Some individuals may identify themselves as homosexual or bisexual without having had any sexual experience. Others have had homosexual experiences but do not consider themselves to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Further, sexual orientation falls along a continuum. In other words, someone does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, but can feel varying degrees of both. Sexual orientation develops across a person's lifetime-different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual."

According to Rosario, Schrimshaw, Hunter, Braun (2006), "the development of a lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) sexual identity is a complex and often difficult process. Unlike members of other minority groups (e.g., ethnic and racial minorities), most LGB individuals are not raised in a community of similar others from whom they leam about their identity and who reinforce and support that identity. Rather, LGB individuals are often raised in communities that are either ignorant of or openly hostile toward homosexuality."

In a longitudinal study about sexual identity development among lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) youths, its authors "found evidence of both considerable consistency and change in LGB sexual identity over time." Youths who had identified as both gay/lesbian and bisexual prior to baseline were approximately three times more likely to identify as gay/lesbian than as bisexual at subsequent assessments. Of youths who had identified only as bisexual at earlier assessments, 60-70% continued to identify as bisexual, while approximately 30-40% assumed a gay/lesbian identity over time. Authors suggested that "although there were youths who consistently self-identified as bisexual throughout the study, for other youths, a bisexual identity served as a transitional identity to a subsequent gay/lesbian identity."

Bisexuals commonly start to identify as bisexuals in their early to mid twenties.
Bisexual women more often have their first heterosexual experience before their first homosexual experience, whereas bisexual men will have their first homosexual experience first.

Prevalence

A 2002 survey in the United States by National Center for Health Statistics found that 1.8 percent of men ages 18–44 considered themselves bisexual, 2.3 percent homosexual, and 3.9 percent as "something else". The same study found that 2.8 percent of women ages 18–44 considered themselves bisexual, 1.3 percent homosexual, and 3.8 percent as "something else". The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior, published in 1993, showed that 5 percent of men and 3 percent of women consider themselves bisexual and 4 percent of men and 2 percent of women considered themselves homosexual. The 'Health' section of The New York Times has stated that "1.5 percent of American women identify themselves [as] bisexual."

Dr. Alfred Kinsey's 1948 work Sexual Behavior in the Human Male found that "46% of the male population had engaged in both heterosexual and homosexual activities, or 'reacted to' persons of both sexes, in the course of their adult lives". Kinsey himself disliked the use of the term bisexual to describe individuals who engage in sexual activity with both males and females, preferring to use "bisexual" in its original, biological sense as hermaphroditic: "Until it is demonstrated [that] taste in a sexual relation is dependent upon the individual containing within his anatomy both male and female structures, or male and female physiological capacities, it is unfortunate to call such individuals bisexual" (Kinsey et al., 1948, p. 657). Dr. Fritz Klein believed that social and emotional attraction are very important elements in bisexual attraction. One third of the men in each group showed no significant arousal. The study did not claim them to be asexual, and Rieger stated that their lack of response did not change the overall findings.

Study, Theory and Social Response

There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Reasons include a combination of genetic factors and environmental factors (including fraternal birth order, where the number of older brothers a boy has increases the chances of homosexuality; specific prenatal hormone exposure, where hormones play a role in determining sexual orientation as they do with sex differentiation; and prenatal stress on the mother.)

The American Academy of Pediatrics has stated that "sexual orientation probably is not determined by any one factor but by a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences." The American Psychological Association has stated that "there are probably many reasons for a person's sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people". It stated that, for most people, sexual orientation is determined at an early age.

The American Psychiatric Association has stated that, "to date there are no replicated scientific studies supporting any specific biological etiology for homosexuality. Similarly, no specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse." Research into how sexual orientation may be determined by genetic or other prenatal factors plays a role in political and social debates about homosexuality, and also raises fears about genetic profiling and prenatal testing.

Sigmund Freud theorized that every person has the ability to become bisexual at some time in his or her life. He based this on the idea that enjoyable experiences of sexuality with the same sex, whether sought or unsought, acting on it or being fantasized, become an attachment to his or her needs and desires in social upbringing. Prominent psychoanalyst Dr. Joseph Merlino, Senior Editor of the book, Freud at 150: 21st Century Essays on a Man of Genius stated in an interview:

“Freud maintained that bisexuality was a normal part of development. That all of us went through a period of bisexuality and that, in the end, most of us came out heterosexual but that the bisexual phase we traversed remained on some unconscious level, and was dealt with in other ways....He did not consider it something that should be criminalized, or penalized.... Freud felt there were a number of homosexuals he encountered who did not have a variety of complex problems that homosexuality was a part of. He found people who were totally normal in every other regard except in terms of their sexual preference. In fact, he saw many of them as having higher intellects, higher aesthetic sensibilities, higher morals; those kinds of things. He did not see it as something to criminalize or penalize, or to keep from psychoanalytic training. A lot of the psychoanalytic institutes felt if you were homosexual you should not be accepted; that was not Freud's position”.

Human bisexuality has mainly been studied alongside with homosexuality. Van Wyk & Geist (1995) argue that this is a problem for sexuality research because the few studies that have observed bisexuals separately have found that bisexuals are often different from both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Furthermore, bisexuality does not always represent a halfway between the dichotomies. Research indicates that bisexuality is influenced by biological, cognitive and cultural variables in interaction, and this leads to different types of bisexuality.

There is currently a debate on the importance of biological influences on sexual orientation. Biological explanations have been put to question by social scientists, particularly by feminists who encourage women to make conscious decisions about their life and sexuality. A difference in attitude between homosexual men and women has also been reported as men are more likely to regard their sexuality as biological, "reflecting the universal male experience in this culture, not the complexities of the lesbian world." There is also evidence that women's sexuality may be more strongly affected by cultural and contextual factors.
Most of the available scientific studies on bisexuality date from before the 1990s. Interest in bisexuality has generally grown, but research focus has lately been on sociology and gender studies.

Social factors

There is a consensus among scholars of different faculties that cultural and social factors have an effect on human sexual behavior. As bisexual people come from all social classes, social status within the individuals environment, and familial backgrounds, such factors cannot independently explain why some people are bisexual.
Krafft-Ebing was the first to suggest that bisexuality is the original state of human sexuality. Freud has famously summarized on the basis of clinical observations: "We have come to know that all human beings are bisexual - - and that their libido is distributed between objects of both sexes, either in a manifest or a latent form." According to Freud, people remain bisexual all their lives in a repression to mono-sexuality of fantasy and behavior. This idea was taken up in the 1940s by the zoologist Alfred Kinsey who was the first to create a scale to measure the continuum of sexual orientation from hetero to homosexuality. Kinsey studied human sexuality and argued that people have the capability of being hetero or homosexual even if this trait does not present itself in the current circumstances.
From an anthropological perspective, there is large variation in the prevalence of bisexuality between different cultures. Among some tribes it appears to be non-existent while in others a universal, including the Sambia of New Guinea and other similar Melanesian cultures.

Even though only a small percentage of people have bisexual traits, this does not out rule the possibility of bisexual behavior of the majority in different circumstances. Similarly, although evolutionary psychologists consider most males as promiscuous by nature, the majority of American men are faithful to their wives, appearing essentially monogamous. These traits can be explained as the result of culture constraints on evolutionary predispositions.
Sex drive

Several studies comparing bisexuals with hetero- or homosexuals have indicated that bisexuals have higher rates of sexual activity, fantasy or erotic interest. Van Wyk and Geist (1984) found that male and female bisexuals had more sexual fantasy than heterosexuals. Dixon (1985) found that bisexual men had more sexual activities with women than did heterosexual men. Bisexual men masturbated more but had less happy marriages than heterosexuals. Bressler and Lavender (1986) found that bisexual women had more orgasms per week and they described them as stronger than did hetero- or homosexual women. Also found, marriages with a bisexual female were more happy than heterosexual unions, observed less instance of hidden infidelity, and ended in divorce less frequently. Goode and Haber (1977) found bisexual women to be sexually mature earlier, masturbate and enjoy masturbation more and to be more experienced in different types of heterosexual contact.
Recent research suggests that, for most women, high sex drive is associated with increased sexual attraction to both women and men. For men, however, high sex drive is associated with increased attraction to one sex or the other, but not to both, depending on sexual orientation.
More recent research, however, associates high sex drive and increased attraction to both sexes only in women. Bisexual men's pattern has been more similar to heterosexuals with a stronger correlation with high sex drive and other-sex attraction.

Masculinization

Masculinization of women and hyper-Masculinization of men has been a central theme in sexual orientation research. There are several studies suggesting that bisexuals have a high degree of Masculinization. LaTorre and Wendenberg (1983) found differing personality characteristics for bisexual, heterosexual and homosexual women. Bisexuals were found to have less personal insecurities than heterosexuals and homosexuals. This finding defined bisexuals as self assured and less likely to suffer from mental instabilities. The confidence of a secure identity consistently translated to more masculinity than other subjects. This study did not explore societal norms, prejudices, or the feminization of homosexual males.

In a research comparison, published in the Journal of the Association for Research in Otolaryngology, women usually have a better hearing sensitivity than males, assumed by researchers as a genetic disposition connected to child rearing. Homosexual and bisexual women have been found to have a hypersensitivity to sound in comparison to heterosexual women, suggesting a genetic disposition to not tolerant high pitched tones. While heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual men have been found to exhibit similar patterns of hearing. There was a notable differential within a sub-group of males identified as hyper feminized homosexual males who exhibited test results similar to heterosexual women.

Prenatal hormones

The prenatal hormonal theory of sexual orientation suggests that people who are exposed to excess levels of sex hormones have Masculinized brains and show increased homosexuality. Studies to provide evidence for the Masculinization of the brain have however not been conducted to date. Research on special conditions such as CAH and DES indicate that prenatal exposure to, respectively, excess testosterone and estrogens are associated with female–female sex fantasies in adults. Both effects are associated with bisexuality rather than homosexuality.

There is research evidence that the ratio of the length of the 2nd and 4th digits (index finger and ring finger) is somewhat negatively related to prenatal testosterone and positively to estrogen. Studies measuring the fingers found a statistically significant skew in the 2D:4D ratio (long ring finger) towards homosexuality with an even lower ratio in bisexuals. It is suggested that exposure to high prenatal testosterone and low prenatal estrogen concentrations is one cause of homosexuality whereas exposure to very high testosterone levels may be associated with bisexuality. Because testosterone in general is important for sexual differentiation, this view offers an alternative to the suggestion that male homosexuality is genetic.

The prenatal hormonal theory suggests that a homosexual orientation results from exposure to excessive testosterone causing an over-masculinized brain. This is contradictory to another hypothesis that homosexual preferences may be due to a feminized brain in males. However, it has also been suggested that homosexuality may be due to high prenatal levels of unbound testosterone that results from a lack of receptors at particular brain sites. Therefore the brain could be feminized while other features, such as the 2D:4D ratio could be over-masculinized.

Brain structure

LaVey's (1991) examination at autopsy of 18 homosexual men, 1 bisexual man, 16 presumably heterosexual men and 6 presumably heterosexual women found that the INAH 3 nucleus of the anterior hypothalamus of homosexual men was smaller than that of heterosexual men and the size of heterosexual women. Although grouped with homosexuals, the INAH 3 size of the one bisexual subject was similar to that of the heterosexual men.

Chromosomes

There is some evidence to support the concept of biological precursors of bisexual orientation in genetic males. According to Money (1988), men with an extra Y chromosome are more likely to be bisexual, paraphilic and impulsive.

Evolutionary theory

Some evolutionary psychologists have argued that same-sex attraction does not have adaptive value because it has no association with potential reproductive success. Instead, bisexuality can be due to normal variation in brain plasticity. More recently, it has been suggested that same-sex alliances may have helped males climb the social hierarchy giving access to females and reproductive opportunities. Same-sex allies could have helped females to move to the safer and resource richer center of the group, which increased their chances of raising their offspring successfully.
Brendan Zietsch of the Queensland Institute of Medical Research proposes the alternative theory that men exhibiting female traits become more attractive to females and are thus more likely to mate, provided the genes involved do not drive them to complete rejection of heterosexuality.
Also, in a 2008 study, its authors stated that "There is considerable evidence that human sexual orientation is genetically influenced, so it is not known how homosexuality, which tends to lower reproductive success, is maintained in the population at a relatively high frequency." They hypothesized that "while genes predisposing to homosexuality reduce homosexuals' reproductive success, they may confer some advantage in heterosexuals who carry them." and their results suggested that "genes predisposing to homosexuality may confer a mating advantage in heterosexuals, which could help explain the evolution and maintenance of homosexuality in the population."

Social status

Because some bisexual people do not feel that they fit into either the homosexual or the heterosexual world, and because they have a tendency to be "invisible" in public, some bisexual persons are committed to forming their own communities, culture, and political movements. Some who identify as bisexual may merge themselves into either homosexual or heterosexual society. Still other bisexual people see this merging as enforced rather than voluntary; bisexual people can face exclusion from both homosexual and heterosexual society on coming out. Psychologist Beth Firestein states that bisexuals also tend to internalize social tensions related to their choice of partners. Firestein suggests bisexuals may feel pressured to label themselves as homosexuals instead of occupying a difficult middle ground in a culture that has it that if bisexuals are attracted to people of both sexes, they must have more than one partner, thus defying society's value on monogamy. These social tensions and pressure may and do affect bisexuals' mental health. Specific therapy methods have been developed for bisexuals to address this concern.
Bisexual behaviors are also associated in popular culture with men who engage in same-sex activity while otherwise presenting as heterosexual. The majority of such men—said to be living on the down-low—do not self-identify as bisexual. However this is a cultural misperception and should actually be seen as more closely associated with all LGBT individuals who due to societal pressures hide their actual orientation, a phenomena colloquially called "being closeted".

Sexual Subgroups

We no longer live in a world that is Black and White when it comes to sex, every person on this planet has there own way of expressing their sexual side, the sad this that most of us never fully open up to our partners and there for are unhappy, Sexologists and Marriage councilors around the world all agree that the lack of communication in and out of the bedroom results in more than 80% of all divorces and that 2 in 3 marriages will end in divorce in the first 5 years.

Wow that’s a lot of unhappy people, make the change and find out what you like and what you would like to try, once you are sure what turns you on. Try talking to your partner, you may find that if you are open with him/her they will be open with you.
Be open minded to what you like and what your partner is interested in and don’t get jealous if they tell you they are open to extra-marital sex. To be honest you should have had this talk before you got married.

So lets look at some sub-cultures that you may find you like.

Bisexuality and same-sex activity

Attitudes to same-sex activity and bisexuality vary by culture and locale, and by gender.
As a rule, female bi-sexuality and bi-curiosity are common in both the "selective" and traditional swinging scenes and tend to be the norm amongst participants; by contrast, male same-sex activity has a wider variation in its handling, and may be welcomed, accepted, frowned upon, or forbidden. Swing clubs and other facilities exist for gay and bisexual interests for both genders, but differ – for example bathhouses and the like for gay males, sometimes described as being "controversial" even in the gay community due to safer sex concerns, whereas women's clubs are "comparatively rare" and tend to be organized as private events, or niche clubs with high popularity for their events.
No studies have been conducted as to what percentage of swinging men or women who define themselves as bisexual would be open to romantic as well as sexual relations with both genders.

Dogging

Dogging is a British term for swinging that takes place in a public but reasonably secluded area (often based in cars, but not necessarily). There are many known dogging spots across the UK where people go after dark, typically to engage in voyeurism and exhibitionism but also to take part in group sex.

Hot wife

The term hot wife refers to a married woman who has sex with men other than her spouse, and/or women with the husband's consent. In most cases the husband takes a vicarious pleasure in watching the pleasure of his wife and the man or men, or enjoys watching, hearing, or knowing about his wife's adventures. Husbands may also take part by engaging in threesomes, or arranging dates for their wives. And often, if not an active participant, the husband takes photos and/or video of his wife's sexual encounter. Also in many cases the husband/wife enjoys private sexual relations afterward.
One variant of the hot wife phenomenon is when two men (one generally the husband and the other perhaps a close friend) take turns pleasuring his wife, each immediately taking over from the other as soon as his orgasm is reached. In effect one man is recovering while the other is active, but the woman effectively has continuous intercourse. In this way, particularly if the woman experiences multiple orgasms, this game can effectively provide her with a very extended sexual act that she could not experience in any other way.

Cuckolding

A distinct threesome subculture is cuckolding. Cuckolding is a subgenre where open relationship and threesomes meet. In a cuckold experience, one partner has sex with another person outside of their primary relationship for a limited number of times and the person who engages in the experience generally shares that experience with their partner after the encounter has ended.
Generally cuckolding differs from an open relationship as it does not involve an ongoing emotional relationship that is commonly found in an open relationship. Though the non-participating partner is not involved in the sexual act, they may be involved in preparation and selection of the third person. Cuckolding is not always done for sexual humiliation as it may be done to allow sexual exploration, the opportunity to live out a fantasy, fulfill a desire, or sexual fulfillment that cannot usually be obtained through the normal boundaries of a relationship. In essence cuckolding seeks to 'fill the gap' that is left by other threesome or group sex activities.

Polyamory

Polyamory is the desire, practice or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with full knowledge and consent by everyone involved. Poly lifestyles vary, with some being open relationships and others being polyfidelitous.
Many people involved in polyamory are not swingers. Some are openly critical of swingers, contrasting their committed relationships with the recreational sex that, in their view, swingers practice. Others are not critical of swingers but simply do not regard themselves as belonging to the same group.

Selective swinging

Traditionally swingers' clubs accept all ages and body types, and the average age of swingers is 39, while the ages when people first enter the swinging lifestyle average 31 for women and 34 for men. Younger swingers who wish to swing with their own age group find that this isn't always possible in swinging clubs.

Fever Parties began organizing events for affluent under-40s in London in the late 1990s. Other organizers have sprung up. These organizations try to elevate themselves by hosting events in up market venues, serving Champagne or cocktails and asking guests to dress in smart evening attire. Entry is often competitive and photographs are usually required to demonstrate attractiveness.

Due to the success of these events in the UK, they have spread to Norway, South Africa, Sweden and the United States. This has renewed the term The Lifestyle' to encompass swinging activities, younger couples being averse to "swingers" because of its connotations.

'Selective swinging' events include mostly childless, unmarried young graduates whose average ages are as low as the late 20s, whereas traditional swingers events have average ages in the 40s. Selective parties are sometimes referred to as "exclusive" or "elitist."
The acceptance of singles varies by area and event. Some clubs (including parties and private events) allow only couples and females, but some allow single men on selected nights. Single females are often admitted at reduced price. Because of the high proportion of female same sex activity (and interest), interested single females are called "unicorns" in the context of their existence being a fantasy, rather than a reality.

Reasons against single males vary. Most but not all of the people in swinger events are male-female couples more interested in couples or single women than single men. Thus, swinger events strive to achieve a balance between male and female participants or have a slightly larger number of females.

A complaint is that single men change the tone of an event. While hostility towards single men is rare, an abundance of single males is not often looked upon favorably. When single males are permitted, their numbers are usually limited by high fees or stringent requirements.

Thank you to my friends at Wiki which helped me complete this article.

What Is Swinging? Definition And History

Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple." The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as andocentric (taking a male-oriented point of view) and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.
Activities
Swinging activities may include (but are not limited to):
• Soft swinging: having sexual intercourse with a partner while two or more other people perform sex acts in the immediate vicinity.
• Soft swap: having oral sex with someone other than one's partner. Often a type of swinging that new couples choose before eventually trying full swap, although many couples stay "soft swap" for personal or safety related reasons.
• Full swap: having penetrative sex with someone other than one's partner. Although this is the commonly understood definition of swinging, it is not necessarily the most common type.
• Group sex: An all-inclusive term for activities involving multiple partners in the same vicinity.
Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. These acts can occur in the same room (often called same room swinging) though different or separate room swinging does occur. On these occasions, swingers will often refer to sex as play and sex partners as playmates. Occasionally, one party of a couple will not be interested in joining the swinging lifestyle. This party is typically referred to as the "hold-out" while the other party is referred to as the "desirous party". Thus, the "desirous party" is the one party of a swinging couple who seeks to be in the lifestyle as opposed to the other party who does not.
History
16th century
A formal arrangement was signed by John Dee, his wife Jane, his scryer, Edward Kelley and Kelley's wife Joanna on 22 April 1587, whereby conjugal relations would be shared between the men and their spouses. This arose following séances which apparently resulted in spirits guiding Dee and Kelley towards this course of action.
17th century
Temporary spouse-trading was commonly advocated and practiced among occultists, particularly alchemists, in Europe (such as at Prague) in the 17th century.
18th century
Some such occultists were the Frankists who in the mid-18th century established in Salonika (Thessalonia), Macedonia, Greece (part of the Ottoman empire at that time) the Dönmeh cult : "The Donmeh now converted the Shabbatain Purim into an annual orgy, when members exchanged spouses for a ceremony called 'extinguishing the lights.'" "Once a year [during the Doenmes' annual 'Sheep holiday'] the candles are put out in the course of a dinner which is attended by orgies and the ceremony of the exchange of wives." "The Dönmeh and the Frankists each had sexual-religious rituals, ranging from wife-swapping ..." From collaboration of the Frankists with Zizendorf of Moravia derived the "initiated sea captains sailing for the Swedish East India Company", who set up a liaison with oriental Tantrists; in a similar manner as in the 20th century Air Force pilots were involved in introducing "swinging" to the United States.
19th century
The sobriquet "Communist" was applied (especially in Germany) to some who advocated spouse-trading in the mid-19th century onward. However, no political connotations should be attached to this label. In the Communist Manifesto "holding wives in common" was one of the charges Marx levied at the bourgeoise.
20th century
While contemporary swingers look to earlier practices, such as ancient Roman acceptance of orgies and alternative sexual practices, swinging in the 20th century began differently.
According to Terry Gould's Book The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers, swinging began among United States Army Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II. The mortality rate of pilots was high. Gould reports that a close bond arose between pilots, with the implication that husbands would care for all the wives as their own, emotionally and sexually, if the husbands were away or lost (thus bearing some similarity to levirate marriage).
This is debatable, however, since it would have been unusual for wives to accompany their husbands on foreign tours. Other sources point to U.S. Air Force pilots in the California desert as the original participants. Though the beginnings are not agreed upon, it is assumed swinging began among American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon wife-swapping.
The first swingers' organization, the Sexual Freedom League, began in the 1960s in Berkeley, California by a young student named Robert McGinley, in the sexually liberal San Francisco Bay Area. McGinley later formed an umbrella organization called the North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) (now NASCA International) which was formed to disseminate information about swinging across North America. Many internet related organizations now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.
In the United Kingdom, there was a proliferation of neighborhood groups in the early 1970s — known as "wife swapping" groups — and press articles in later years suggest the peak was 1973–76.
Research
Subjective scientific research has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. One study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of swinger-related sites, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm.[1]
60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy.
Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier.
90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them.
Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much" true.
Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins.
There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey.
This study is of limited accuracy due to self-selected sampling. Internet-based sampling procedures create a substantial potential for bias. For instance, swinging couples who had stronger relationships may have been more motivated to complete the questionnaire. Alternatively, because swinging may cause stress on a marriage, only those with higher than average commitment are able to remain married while swinging. Couples who have jealousy or strife issues caused by swinging will not usually stay in the lifestyle, and therefore would have been less likely to respond.
ABC News reporter John Stossel produced an investigative report into the swinging lifestyle. Stossel reported that more than four million people are swingers, according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. He also cited Terry Gould's research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners." When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will "find they like someone else better", one male replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes women more confident - that they are the ones in charge." Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of them said don't do it", though some said "getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."
Organizations
Certain swinging activities are highly organized. Most major cities in North America and western Europe have at least one swingers' club in a permanent location (although they often keep a low profile to avoid negative attention); over 3,000 swinging clubs exist worldwide. Slightly over 1,000 have online presences, but there are countless small neighborhood clubs, which are known among members of the lifestyle community, but do not have websites (for obvious reasons). As such, the true number of Swinger Clubs is impossible to confirm, but can be safely guessed to number in the thousands worldwide.
Swingers commonly meet through lifestyle magazines, personal ads, swinging house parties, swinger conventions, and Internet sites where swing clubs and lifestyle event promoters post their upcoming events in addition to facilitating new introductions between people.
Although the term "club" may refer to a group that organizes lifestyle-related events in a particular area, it can also refer to a physical location or building. In this latter context, clubs are typically divided into on-premises clubs, where sexual activity may occur at the club itself, and off-premises clubs, where sexual activity is not allowed at the club, but may be arranged at a nearby location.
In the US, many off-premises swinging clubs follow a bar or nightclub format, sometimes renting an entire existing bar (frequently termed a venue takeover) for scheduled events. Takeovers are normally done to avoid interaction with non-lifestyle segments of the population, and to avoid unwanted negative attention. Consequently, on weekends in suburbia, bars in large industrial parks that attract a mainstream clientele during weekdays and would otherwise sit empty or closed on weekends (when business offices are closed) are likely locations for a takeover. Memberships must be obtained and rules must be followed at these off-premise locations.
On-premises clubs usually have a similar format as off-premises clubs. A notable exception is that most on-premises clubs do not serve alcohol, asking participants instead to bring their own, thus avoiding issues from restrictive laws regarding sexual activity and the sale of alcoholic beverages. Concordantly, the vast majority of swinging clubs in the US do not advertise as such. The largest swinger society in North America is NASCA International. NASCA is an association of clubs, websites, publications, travel agencies, and events catering to the swinging lifestyle community. NASCA was established as an umbrella organization with the intent of encouraging the dissemination of accurate information about swinging lifestyles across North America. It publishes a guide listing clubs and events in 43 of the 50 US states and the District of Columbia, Canada, as well as 25 other nations.
In Europe, off-premises clubs are rare, and the majority of swinging venues allows sexual contact and serve alcohol. Three standard formats exist: the bar/nightclub (usually smaller, in city centers and focused around a dance floor), the spa (which has pools, Jacuzzis, saunas and steam rooms where people strip on entry), and the country club (which is out-of-town, usually serves a free buffet, and may include elements of the first two formats while also offering large play spaces).
One of the most secretive and largest of the clubs based in Europe is Alternative Lifestyles (AL). Outside of its many satellite clubs, little is known about AL. Former members of AL have confirmed that the organization has expanded into North and South America. To help distinguish themselves, each AL club adds the first letter from their home city to the AL brand (i.e., MAL for Miami and NAL for New York City).
A large amount of swinging activity is organized via the Internet on various sites with personals, listings, and local information. For many couples, the swinging lifestyle and the clubs can be as much a social venue as a sexual one. Like many sexual subcultures, a strong community atmosphere exists, fostered in part by the greater communication enabled by the Internet.
A big thank you to my friends at Wiki for some insight on the culture.

Things to look out for with online dating.

The real world as well as the virtual world is full of scam artists, liars, cheaters, stalkers, and plenty of other types of unsavory characters. Both worlds are also full of honest, reliable, trustworthy, hard-working individuals as well. One of the biggest challenges facing those participating in online dating is learning how to tell the difference. Fortunately there are ways to know when you are being scammed and there are things you can do to protect yourself from becoming a victim.

Photos

Most people that do online dating have at lest one digital photo, so when it comes to profiles that have nothing to show, 9/10 times they have some thing to hide.
The most conmen of these is that they are married, look nothing like their profile has lead you to believe or they are just chasers.
Not all members of a dating site with no photos full in to these categories, but if they are really looking to meet someone then they would make the effort, profiles with more than one photo is even better, the reason for this is finding one photo is easy, but to find more than two photos of someone else not you, starts to get a little harder.

Inconsistent Stories, Vague Responses

Women especially seem to be in-tune with their gut feelings and this actually is one of your best defenses. Pay attention to your instincts because more often than not, they are picking up on vibes you might not be noticing. When your instincts start screaming at you to cease communicating with someone, just do it. You can question your instincts later on, if you want. Or you can start working your next prospective love match.

There is a good chance you are being lied to or scammed when the person cannot keep his or her facts straight. Learn how to listen to the words you read and you will learn how to identify inconsistencies. They usually appear in the basic information another offers such as profession, age, marital status, hobbies and interests, even appearance. When someone cannot keep these basic facts straight, that person likely is lying.

Talk on the Phone

For your own safety and protection, always arrange to talk on the phone before agreeing to meet in person anyone you have met online. You will get a genuine feel for the person on the other end by doing so. If this person turns out to be the smoothest talker you have ever encountered, that should be a red flag. Also, if the person cannot seem to arrange a convenient time to talk on the phone, this is a bad sign and you should consider ending this relationship.

Asking for Money

Anytime someone you are communicating with online asks you for money or for your banking or credit card information or any other thing having to do with your personal finances, you are being set up to be scammed. Contrary to what people think, even the brightest, most worldly individuals have fallen victim to this type of scam. Even if you are being given the saddest, most unfortunate or dire story about why the other person needs your financial assistance, it is most likely a lie. It is in your best interest to stop all communication immediately, and this person should be reported, even if doing so makes you feel uncomfortable.

Keep Personal Information Personal

The more personal information you give out during your online communications, the more you increase your chances of being victimized. When you first find someone that you like don’t divulge your hometown, name of employer, last name, phone number, real email address, home address, nothing. Get to know that person first, If another person keeps insisting on this type of information from you, it’s time to move on.

Safety Tips for Online Dating.

Online dating is a lot fun and you can find some serious matches if you are lucky. However, just like any other system, online dating also has its drawbacks and loopholes. Internet dating safety tips come in handy to safeguard you from the possible pitfalls of online dating. Interacting online exposes you to various types of risk such as, fraud, security, and adultery, to name a few. Some of the dating safety tips mentioned below should help you establish a safe and fine relationship when dating online.

Patience:

Be patient when interacting with people. Do not disclose your personal life and information until you are certain about the trustworthiness of the other person.
Information like your real name, E-mail address, where you live, family and friends, this is all out of bounds info until you know that person well. Most people that are looking to take you for a ride will get bored and move on if you do not give them any information that they can us.

Analysis:

Keep a critical eye on every online communication with the other person. Do not spare even the slightest slip, as you cannot afford one in online dating. If you find that the other person is being too insistent or pressing irrespective of your comfort levels, or he/she is being dishonest, just opt out of any further communication with the person.
Anonymity: Do not disclose your any personal information when dating online, either in profile or in your mails to the other people. Take care not to yield to any pressure or temptation.

Photos:

Try not to communicate with members that do not have any photos of themselves, if it is possible try to get 2-3 photos out of a person, the reason for this is most people have at lest 3 photos of themselves, if the member you are talking to only has one and cant send you anymore, chances are that the photo they are using is a fake.
Information: Try collecting as much information as possible from the other person about them. Ask as many questions you want maintaining his/her comfort levels at the same time. It would be ideal if you can verify the information provided by the other person.
Decisions: In the online world, you decide about your next move. It is absolutely your ability to judge, verify and decide this aspect when dating online. You can graduate to the next level depending upon the certainty you have for the other person. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Chatrooms:
All dating sites have chatrooms filled with interesting people, this I a great place to start socializing, once you have found someone you like and there seems to be sparks, try private chatting with this person for a while, this will help you decide if you really have anything in common and you will still be safe, as long as you have followed the rules of engagement.

Webcams:

Once you have built up a relationship with a member try using a webcam to converse, before you meet for the first time, this will help you in so many ways.
First you will be able to see the person you have been chatting to.
Second body language is a big give away and you will be able to read them like a book.
But the best part is all the fun you can have with a webcam.

All the above features can be found at most online dating sites that pride themselves in the safety of their members and the enjoyment of online dating, don’t be a victim of online fraud, stay safe and never be shy to ask the right question and avoid the questions that could reveal your where about’s and your personal information.

Misunderstanding what online adult dating is all about.

The world is full of possibilities, online dating is one of the best things to hit the web, with features like free chatrooms, web chat, photo profiles, singles searches, blogs, articles, adult related shops and much more, the online dating scene has made the dating world evolve into something that everyone can enjoy, regardless of your sexual preference, looks, dating needs, there is a site for you.
Some people misunderstand what online dating and Adult dating is all about, I hope with this article some urban legends can be put to rest.
Information included in the following topics will help you understand what adult online dating is or isn't.
Adult online dating
When people hear the words ‘adult online’ they may think it has to do with porn, but adult dating sites are nothing more than online dating sites with a 18/21 age restriction. Some adult dating site may have a sexually explicit theme, but not all.
Adult in this term simply means a site that provides a place for adults to communicate with other adults, and not to be used by children.
What these services provide
Adult online dating provides an environment for adults to connect with one another.
They are strictly for adults because some content may be explicit and not suitable for children or teens. These things may include nudity, graphic language, Sexual preferences, fetishes, and sexually orientated communities and groups. Non of the above are suitable for under age patrons and hence the age restriction on all adult dating sites.
Types of adult dating sites
Adult online dating sites are dedicated to more a sexual orientation than there standard counterparts. These sites may be used to find a person that is more compatible to the member’s sexual orientation and sexual needs, rather than finding the perfect partner to marry. This does not mean that people have not found their perfect partners on adult dating sites, it’s just not their first priority.
These sites can sometimes charge more than the traditional sites because of the features that they may include. These may be like sending virtual gifts, sending messages or videos to others.
Traditional online dating sites are all about finding of your perfect soul mate to spend the rest of your life with. These sites usually use a very detailed profile so others can see your interests, hobbies, or your religious beliefs.
Benefits of adult dating
In the adult dating world there are many benefits to be included with this service, for one most marriages end because of sex, the lack of or the incompatibility of the partner.
Adult dating sites not only caters for singles, but for couples and swingers also, we live in a new world where you can be yourself and experience the things that make you tick. Adult dating sites are geared up for this, they start looking for your perfect partner, not as a soul mate but someone you can enjoy life with, what you like in the bedroom really does play a huge part in your overall happiness.
Join an adult dating site and see for yourself what this kind of service can do for you.

Why date online?

Well the first real advantage of online dating over normal dating is the internet itself. Online dating brings people together from all over the world via the internet; this is a great advantage because there are thousands of members to choose from.

What this means to the man on the street, well let me put it to you like this, if you walk into a bar and start looking for someone you like, there may only be a small handful of people you like, half of them may not be looking to meet someone and as for the rest that are looking, some may not like you and that leaves you with a very small number of people to choose from, minus the people you have nothing in common with and what does that leave you with? An expensive evening and huge waste of your time.

If you are shy normal dating makes it even harder to meet new people because you just do not get out and about like an outgoing person would. Individuals or groups of people who want to meet other people can do this with online dating and the best part is everyone on the dating site is looking, plus they all have profiles that explain what they are looking for, this means that before wasting your time you can find out if you are looking for the same thing and if you have something’s in common.

Profiles give you a big advantage as you can search for people from all walks of life. Where they live, what they look like and what their interests are, this will give you a quick advantage in locating a possible date. This also explains why there is such a high number of success stories from internet dating.
Getting to know someone before you go out with them improves the odds and ensures you will have a good time.

Another advantage of online dating is that you can go online and remain fairly anonymous revealing a little bit more about yourself only when you want to, this feeling of control has brought out more people who might not do so otherwise.
The great thing about online dating services is that participants get to choose the people they're going to communicate with.
Plus, they get to read their profiles ahead of time, so they pretty much have an idea about what type of a person they are dealing with, before they even make contact.

With thousands of internet dating services popping up all over the world you have no shortage of people looking to date. The availability of internet dating services makes this an appealing option for anyone who is looking to meet new people. Now, with the popularity of online dating services, the interactions people can have are not only limited to their set of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers anymore.

If you have access to the internet you can join any niche dating you like, standard dating, adult dating, swingers clubs, gay and lesbian dating and the list goes on and the best part is that you can join as a free member and check out who’s online, where they are from, what they are looking for and much, much more.
Because of the excitement and the fun internet dating can offer more and more people are joining every day, so why not find a dating site that does it for you and see what all the fuss is about.

Online Dating Tips

Welcome to the world of online dating, if you have not been a part of an online dating community before or you have not had much luck, then this is for you. Here are a few pointers and rules you should follow when it comes to online dating.

• Your Profile:

Your profile is very important, this is where people start to read what kind of person you really are, the more information you give them, the better they will be able to decide if you are compatible and if they would like to get to know you better. Fill in as much as possible even if you think that it is irrelevant, things like work, children, sexual fantasies are all very important as it adds character building block, example: Work, what kind of job you do may affect your future partner, for example:

• You are a Doctor! This is great, but you are on call 24 hours a day, your shifts are long and when you do come home you are so tired that the last thing you want to do is talk to someone or have sex.

Do you see how this can change your profile. Some may think dating a Doctor is great, you are not at home all the time to get under their feet, and you have lots of money. Each person will think differently about the pro’s and con’s of your job.

• Your Photo:

Your photo is one of the most important features of your profile, there are many reasons for this.
1) When members are looking for a partner, most will look at the members with photo first.
2) Depending on what you look like and if it is a good photo, will also make a difference when it comes to someone contacting you.
3) And the most important, a picture says a thousand words about you, depending on the kind of photo you upload will depend on your first impression. For example if you load up a bad photo and the picture quality is grainy,

This can come off in two ways,
1) You don’t think much of yourself and you have no confidence or,
2) You are not really that interested in online dating. Ether way this is not good for you.

The kind of photo you up load will also change the mindset of the person looking at it, Example if you load up a photo that is nude or very sexually explicit, then that’s what you will get in return, only members of the same caliber will usually contact you IE: a nude photo, says I’m looking for kinky sex only, so that’s what you will get, if that’s what you are looking for them you have done it right.

• The Chatroom:

The Chatroom is a great way to meet people and socialize, here you will find all kinds of people to chat to and share your experiences, once you have found someone in the chatroom, you can always ether chat privately or us a webcam to see and hear the person.
1) Another bonus about meeting people this way is, you can find out if you click where as with E-mails it takes a long time to hear what that person things about something.
2) The other reason why chatrooms are better than E-mail is safety, you do not know the person you are chatting to, so giving out your E-mail address before getting to know them is always a really bad idea, chat with them for a while or if you can us a webcam and mic, and really get to know the person first, then give them you E-mail once you feel that you know the person well enough.

• Meeting for the first time:

This is where it becomes fun! But also keep in mind that you still don’t really know this person, my suggestion, meet in a busy public place restaurants and coffee shops are always a good place, the reason for this is.
1) You are safe and there is a waiter that comes to your table and serves you, if anything should go wrong, he or she can help you and will remember serving you, were as if you meet in a bar you are just another face in the crowd.
2) Also don’t forget to let a friend or family member know where you are at all times, even if you just send a text message telling them, where you are who you are with and if you leave the venue where you are going.

• Getting dressed up: This is for Men and women! Dressing up to meet someone is very important, remember you are meeting someone for the first time and first impressions will be made again on this date. Shower, this date may lead to more, dress nicely, even get a friend to help you out, do your hair, shave or wax, brush your teeth and smell good. If you don’t, this maybe the last time you see this person.

I hope that this will help you, remember one thing, you are using an online dating site for a reason, to find people like you. Always do your best at showing your good side and don’t forget to tell people what you want, this will save you and other members a lot of wasted time.

Who can become a swinger?

Swinging is an extravagant lifestyle that is practiced by couples and sometimes singles. Group consists of happily married couples. The swinging couples are normal people like you and me, but their choices are a bit different. These preferences are completely normal; hence the lifestyle is practiced in almost all the countries.

The lifestyle involves intimate relationship between swapped partners. It is often misconceived as cheating. Infidelity or cheating occurs when one partner gets mentally and socially involved with other individual without the knowledge of his/her spouse. Swinging couples involves themselves with multiple partners after mutual consent.

The swinging couples don't limit themselves with a particular swinging individual. They satisfy their urge to a certain extent without harming their spouse. Hence, they maintain their conventional relationships as well as fulfill their desires. The couples support and respect each other's feelings. Thus, it strengthens their relations to unparalleled levels.

It isn't a remote practice because people have been swinging since 70's. Earlier, the practice was limited to few couples but now it has become a mass phenomenon. Swinging couples don't wear leather dresses and heavy jewelry. They are normal people who dress in a sophisticated manner. Hence, there is nothing cheesy about the lifestyle.

Hence, you can also become part of the extravagant lifestyle. You should analyze a few aspects before taking the plunge. Just ask yourself “Why do you want to swing? Don't explore the lifestyle just because you are desperate to enjoy intimacy with swinging couples. You can swing only after mutual content, so be ready to convince your partner for the swinging activity.

The swinging lifestyle doesn't welcome unhappy couples. Hence, don't venture if your marriage is on the rocks. Remember that the lifestyle strengthens relationships. It can't mend a broken marriage. So, explore the lifestyle, if you truly aim at enjoying the pleasures of the liberal lifestyle.

Men and Women are wired differently

There's no doubt about it.

Men and women are wired differently.

Men know this, yet they continue to use the same, ineffective tactics to try to get women, what's even more stunning is that they are surprised when those tactics don't work.

So, just what are those differences and how do they affect the way that men and women communicate?

The answers may surprise you. American ethicist, psychologist and feminist, Carol Gilligan, details some of the more striking differences between the sexes in her book "In a Different Voice." In one section she discusses how males and females approach a problem and make decisions. Generally, males make their decisions based on the ethics of justice while females use the ethics of care.

This goes back to the beliefs that men are more logical and women are more emotional, but takes it a step further, this is very important when communicating with a woman. While men are more results oriented and prefer a more straightforward approach with the easiest route to the end, women operate in a different manner.

Women tend to communicate in a manner that is conducive and focused on building and salvaging relationships. Now, when you are trying to determine just how this information will help you communicate better with women, consider this: If you talk to a woman in her language, on her level, don't you think that you will get better results than you would if you just forged ahead doing your own thing? Of course you would!

Women are also more inclined to talk things out than a man would. Women want to resolve conflicts, or perceived conflicts, by discussing various aspects of the situation. They want to rehash the topic over and over until it has been worked over and wrung dry of useful information. Men, on the other hand, tend to clam up, preferring to refrain from discussing the issue, or "saying their piece" and then moving on.

This can cause problems between men and women because the man shuts down and the woman feels neglected. The smart man will take the time to listen to the woman in his life. He should not only listen, but respond to what she says.

Ask questions, insert comments and create some open dialogue. This will not only fulfill the woman's need to communicate, but it will also get issues out in the open and on the table so that they can be dealt with and faced. This could work to your advantage, particularly if you are in a relationship that you value.

Men and women are different, for sure, but if you are watchful and pay attention to the clues that the women around you are dropping, you can learn how to communicate effectively with them. Just try to mimic them, discretely of course, but emulate their body posture, look them in the eye and pay attention to little cues that she will give.

Ask questions, talk with her and show that you care.

When you meet her on her level with her communication style, you will have her attention - and possibly even her devotion.

In the mean time, Good Luck!